Long nights

This seems to be a routine or perhaps more like a ritual. A positive, calming ritual but one I don't intend to make a long habit - my nightly "KY" nightcap & blog post. Let ya figure which shouldn't be habit-forming.

Each day gets better or at least less overtly stressful. There are fewer big high or lows on the roller coaster. Mornings for him still seem roughest, possibly b/c of less than great nights. But his days decent and he peaks in afternoons or early eve. We'll see if that holds for another day. Only thing to really expect is change.

For me I think nites may be hitting harder. Long days, plenty of wondering, not enough activity for me probably, and stress catching up at end seem to all = not great sleep & never quite enough. I'm a nite-owl and all but it's not helping. So I get back to hotel & need quiet unwind personal time but that keeps me up later = less sleep. And cycle goes again. I'm nearly used to sleeping alone b/c of all his, and even my, biz trips so I don't really think that's primary prob. Noises are never an issue for deaf chick here! Least that's good!

Maybe it's guilt or something b/c I'm here at hotel, not hospital. Rational side says I know there's not damn thing I can do there. He's sleeping. He has nurses way more qualified than me. And if big prob I hope they'd call me. I even know I'm supposed to be taking care of me & that means sleeping in real bed with some "me time". Naturally it's just hard to do all that guilt-free.

Keep reading & leaving notes or emailing please--- I'm just now beginning to realize how absolutely vital all my "virtual" friends are at all times & especially after tomorrow pm when I'm here on my own. I can do this I know -- an I now know to ask for help. :-)

Peace
Jenn
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