Remedial driver's ed hereby ordered for all of our county!

Ya know, I have one main job here as Nurse Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy  -- take care of the patient.
Now, he's pretty self-sufficient (much more so than I ever expected -- overachiever that he is I'm sure he feels he's pretty much on track), and he can take care of most of his own needs and doesn't have so much in the way of any truly 'nursey' type duties needed. So I'm more cook, chauffeur,  errand person, secretary  -- that sort of thing. [That can be a whole other post]  Hey, whatever is needed, it's all good -- and all in the written contract I'm pretty sure I signed way back in June of 1998. ;-)  

BUT ... if one of main goals is taking care of patient, and part of that is keeping patient safe, then I hereby declare that the rest of our county in PA needs remedial driver's ed. RIGHT NOW! Especially the upper, north-north-west part of the county.  Holy crap! Everywhere I drove today it was like they were out to get me. I turned off the main street of town, down a side street to take him to the hospital for a scheduled follow-up with his doc, and first we come right up against a semi stopped blocking the street. So I cautiously wait behind truck, looking to see when safe to move left and go around -- but first zooms up & around another SUV ... ok, I start to go again ... but behind him barreling down the short block is  .... a giant bulldozer with one of those sharp, plow looking fronts   [or perhaps it was one of these WTF - it had big tires, was yellow & had a blade! ] . So I back off again, wait, try again to get around, the road is finally clear I pull out to pull around ... and now the damn semi with its hazards still blinking starts to move and pulls back out into the middle of the short little side block. ACK!  I'm trying to get the patient to a routine follow-up at a hospital not 4 minutes away and if this keeps up we're gonna be going there in the red truck with the sirens! 

And it kept up like that all day with drivers coming at me funny in parking lots, backing out at weird times, cutting the wrong way, getting indecisive at stop signs and turns, odd speed and diving on the highway, and on and on.  I'm not having good "Carma" today obviously.
Capped off by having my own car towed out of my own driveway because it's pissed at me for going away, leaving it, not driving it for nearly a month and favoring the other car upon our return b/c M can get in/out of its backseat easier  -- so it decided to not start, or start reluctantly and with burned smells and smoke wisping out of its a$$.  See ... bad "carma"  -- spelling puns intended.

I'm so getting fired...

After dutifully discharging my responsibilities as Nurse Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy (NJFW) ... or at least trying really hard not to kill the patient or the care-taker ... I think I'm slipping some and am gonna get canned from this position.

I'd love to blame it on being tired and loopy, but I did get a  short nap before I cooked dinner. Or perhaps it was because I had to use brain cells I haven't used in a while as I drove a car for the first time in 17 or 18 days. Can't blame jet lag .. there's no time difference between home and Cleveland (well, metaphysical time perhaps, and architectural time, or winning-sports-team time...). 

But it's probably grounds for firing from Nurse Jane duty when in the midst of trying to help the patient retire for the evening, getting him comfortable and adjusting the new wedge pillow, NJFW first makes the patient laugh ( a no-no often with patients with giant zipper-like scars and such down their sensitive chests -- was bad enough earlier in the day when M sneezed for the first time post-surgery and his eyes went all cartoon buggy and little tweety birds & stars appeared over his head)  -- and then in attempt at bad nurse-patient joke of some sort, NJFW pokes the patient. In the chest / tummy area.  Oh crap.  In the chest tube drain scar site. Oh double freaking, cheese-n-crackers, %^&*(#$ !!!!   He was laughing, but crying, but laughing and crying and I was so fall-over-myself apologetic.  Oh dear oh dear.

And then the one thing the patient asks for when I go back downstairs is to bring his best buddy, his heart-shaped chest pillow (he even named it ... "Chester" .. get it .. he hugs it to his chest to relieve chest pain & pressure ... awwww ).  So I go downstairs ....  and start checking email, scroll the TV guide, check other emails and generally forget what I went downstairs for in first place. Forcing the poor patient to get back outta bed and call for his NJFW to please throw up the pillow.  D'OH!!   

See!!  I'm SOOO fired.

J

So tired - the sequel

This could become a multipart franchise to rival George Lucas.

I initially traded my nightcap for a glass of nice, CA zin with my juicy med rare burger that I got for dinner @ 9pm back at hotel. Hey, I eat pretty healthily all day @ hospital so dinner = some slack.

But then I wanted my KY bourbon nightcap afterall, fixed drink, started brewing ice tea (oh crap!!! It's still over there brewing!! %&@£ ) and went to bathroom to brush my hair. Except I ended up brushing my teeth instead. Mmmmm, minty fresh bourbon! Ugh
My life is full of "capture errors" in parlance of a cognitive something or other prof I've had on grad school.

I also have concern what the hotel thinks of my nightly drinking habit, because they've replaced my short squat glasses with tall ones (damned if I can remember which is Old fashioned vs Highball -- sorry Mom).

Care-taking Lessons of day:
-Goldfish brain finally figured to use towel as potholder when nuking to make tea
- Don't poke or rub patient too hard in sensitive bits during bath (NO, not Those bits you gutter brains!)
- M is faster than I, or he, thinks. He & his walking pole slipped past me tonite when I answered call from his bro & I was chasing him thru halls of unit and found him all at other end! (This is actually v. good thing!)

Peace
J


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